There's a 46-year-old woman named Kathy Jones from Avondale, Arizona.  And last week, she got a new job at SUBWAY.

She had a few Smirnoff Ices and other drinks to celebrate, and then she asked her boyfriend Jason Davis to celebrate with her.  He said no.

So . . . she sprayed him with LIGHTER FLUID and threw lit matches at him to try to set him on fire.

He ran outside to get away from her while the cops came, and she was arrested for aggravated assault and criminal damage.

Jason says it scared him, but he's planning to stay with Kathy.

There's no word whether Subway is still planning to give her the job.  Maybe they'll be flattered she was THAT excited about working for them? 

(AZ Family / NBC 4 - Tucson)

(Here's her mugshot.)

Of ALL the ways you could try to create a diversion so you could commit a crime, why pick the ONE that's going to come back to haunt you on Judgment Day?

There's a 27-year-old guy named Andrew Ells from Bismarck, North Dakota.  And last Friday, he went to a Walmart and decided to steal the stuff in his cart.

So he created a diversion . . . by lighting a BIBLE on fire.

It's not clear if he actually got out of the store with anything, but we do know that his plan didn't REALLY work . . . because the cops used security tapes to track him down earlier this week.

His fire wound up doing $300,000 in smoke damage and he was arrested for felony arson. 

(The Smoking Gun) 

(Here's his mugshot.)

This wouldn't even work on Christmas Eve.  But definitely not two weeks BEFORE Christmas . . .

On December 10th, a 32-year-old guy named Kabian Coleman broke into someone's house in Sparta, Wisconsin.  (It's on the western side of the state, about 20 miles from the Minnesota border.)

He ended up hiding in a closet, and the people who live in the house realized he was there when their dogs wouldn't stop barking at him.

When they tried to open the closet, he held it shut.  But he was trapped.  So he decided his best chance was to pretend he was SANTA.

Through the closet door, he said "HO HO HO."  Then he told them not to open the door, or it would ruin their Christmas surprise.

While they were calling 911, he left the closet and stole a few things from their garage.  Then he ran out and broke into a neighbor's garage.

The cops were able to track his footprints in the snow and found him there.  He later admitted he was on drugs, and claimed he was on his way to turn himself in.  He's facing charges for trespassing and resisting arrest. 

(WTMJ)

(Here's his mugshot.)

It kind of defeats the purpose to spray air freshener in your car and THEN light a cigarette.  And apparently it's dangerous too . . .

A guy in England was stuck in traffic on Saturday when he decided to spray an excessive amount of air freshener in his car with the windows up.

Right after he finished spraying, he lit a cigarette.  And since he didn't let the car ventilate first . . . it caused a massive EXPLOSION that blew out all his windows, including his front and back windshields.

It also broke the windows of some nearby businesses.  And the doors and trunk of his car were damaged too.  In the photos, it basically looks totaled.

Luckily, he's okay though.  He somehow walked away with only minor injuries. 

(Metro)

(Here are the photos.)

Sometimes, there's a FAT STACK of cash that's best left NOT photographed and shared.  I know, I know, I can't believe it either.

There's a 29-year-old guy named Arlando Henderson from Charlotte, North Carolina.  And he's an employee at a Wells Fargo bank.

Well, apparently, earlier this year, he gradually stole money out of the bank vault.  And over time, he'd stolen $88,000.

Which meant he FINALLY had enough cash to make huge stacks . . . that he could pose with for Facebook and Instagram photos.

That eventually led the U.S. Attorney's Office to him . . . and he's now been arrested for financial institution fraud, 19 counts of theft, embezzlement, misapplication, 12 counts of making false entries, and money laundering.

Add it all up, and he's facing up to 40 years in prison and a $1.25 million fine. 

(CNN / Charlotte Observer)

(Here's a screenshot of one of his Facebook posts, and here's another.)

It seems like we hear about this crime every few years.  Here's the 2019 edition . . .

There's a 32-year-old woman named Sunny Ray Firestone, and she was at a Walmart in Uniontown, Pennsylvania on Tuesday.  And she tried to shoplift an entire cart full of stuff by walking out with it.

BUT . . . she didn't realize at that moment, the Walmart was hosting a "shop with a cop" event, where cops were buying toys for underprivileged kids.

So someone spotted Sunny trying to steal all the stuff . . . and the many, many cops in the store quickly swarmed and arrested her.

She's been charged with retail theft. 

(ABC 4 - Pittsburgh) 

(Here's her mugshot.)

Santa Claus makes it look so easy.

The fire department in Tucson, Arizona got a call on Friday afternoon when people heard someone yelling for help from inside a vacant house.

And it turned out a guy in his 30s had tried to get into the house by sliding down the chimney . . . and got stuck.

The firefighters were able to rescue him . . . and cops arrested him for trespassing, drug possession, and an outstanding warrant. 

(ABC 9 - Tucson)

(Here's a quality photo of the guy's feet dangling out of the bottom of the chimney.)

I guess this woman didn't have ALL she could eat.

A 32-year-old woman named Skylar Williams from Wyandanch, in Long Island, New York went to a TGI Friday's last week and ordered their "all you can eat" appetizers.

And . . . she tried to get a bunch of the appetizers to take home in a doggy bag.

That's not good all-you-can-eat etiquette, and most restaurants won't let you do it.

But when they told her no, Skylar went behind the bar to grab her own to-go container, and then swung a bottle of liquor at an employee who tried to stop her. 

Then she tried to walk out with the appetizers AND that bottle of liquor . . . and pulled a KNIFE on the employee who tried to stop her.

She was arrested for robbery, menacing, and criminal possession of a weapon.  She also had Oxycodone on her, so she was charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance. 

(New York Post) 

(Here's her mugshot.)

This REALLY doesn't seem like a proportionate response.

There's a 28-year-old woman named Ruby Delgadillo from Brentwood, California.  And earlier this week, she took her son to a barber shop.

Well . . . apparently she was NOT happy with the haircut the 63-year-old barber gave him.  She argued with the barber, and he went outside to write down the license plate number of her Prius.

So she RAN HIM OVER . . . and rammed him through the glass window of the store next to the barber shop.

He needed surgery for a badly broken leg and she fled the scene.  The cops are trying to track her down . . . she's going to be charged with assault with a deadly weapon. 

(CBS 5 - San Francisco)

(Here's a previous mugshot of Ruby.)

This guy's first mistake was failing to come up with a FAKE excuse for skipping work.  But it wasn't his biggest mistake . . .

20-year-old Kentarias Gowans was supposed to work a Thanksgiving Day shift at a Steak 'n Shake in Oakwood, Georgia.  (About 50 miles northeast of Atlanta.)

But he called in and said he couldn't work, because he was too DRUNK to make it in.

It's not clear how his manager reacted to that.  But Kentarias DID end up showing up later that night . . . to ROB the place.

He was still drunk around 10:00 P.M. when he walked in with a GUN . . . held it to a co-worker's head . . . and demanded money.

Multiple people called 911, and cops happened to be in the area.  So they got there in under a minute, and saw people running from the building.

When they ordered him to drop the gun, he RAISED it at them for a second, but they didn't shoot.  Then he did finally drop it.

He's facing multiple charges for aggravated assault, having a concealed weapon without a license, underage drinking, and public drunkenness. 

(Gainesville Times / AP)

(Here's his mugshot.)

There's just a special connection between siblings where, sometimes, it almost seems like they're sharing one brain.  Unfortunately for these two, it doesn't seem like it was a very good brain.

A 36-year-old guy named Eric McCracken from Topeka, Kansas was pulled over around 1:30 A.M. on Friday in a 2007 Chevy Trailblazer.  And it turned out he'd STOLEN the SUV, so he was taken to jail.

About three hours later, the cops tried to pull over a 2015 Chevy Silverado that had been reported stolen.  And after a chase, they stopped the truck and arrested the guy driving it.

The driver turned out to be Eric's younger brother, a 32-year-old guy named Keith McCracken.

And he was driving the stolen Chevy truck to the jail . . . to bail his brother out for stealing the Chevy SUV.

Both Eric and Keith were charged with possessing stolen property and driving with suspended licenses.  And Keith was also hit with reckless driving and fleeing and eluding charges. 

(Topeka Capital Journal) 

(Here's Eric's mugshot and here's Keith's mugshot.)

It's VERY selfish to mess up other people's travel at this time of year.  Especially when you do it because you're too cheap to splash out $19 for Premium Economy.

An American Eagle flight took off from Pensacola, Florida on Friday morning, and when it got in the air, a woman on the plane said she was having breathing issues and asked if they'd move her to a bigger seat.

They did . . . but the pilot decided that since it was a medical emergency, he'd turn around and head back to Pensacola to get the woman some help.

But when they landed, she admitted she FAKED the entire thing because she wanted a bigger seat.  And then she refused to get off the plane.

The pilot finally talked her into leaving, and she was taken into custody.  Criminal charges are probably coming. 

(NBC News)

This is where CATFISHING and JUSTICE intersect right here.

There's a guy in Uttar Pradesh, India named Balkishan Chaubey, and he was wanted for several crimes . . . including a MURDER.  But he kept finding ways to dodge the cops.

Well, they found out he was looking to get married.  So a female cop called him, said it was a wrong number, started chatting with him . . . and after a week of talking on the phone, she PROPOSED to him.

And he said yes.  Things obviously work a little differently in some parts of India when it comes to marriage than they do here.

They scheduled their wedding for this past Thursday.  And when Chaubey showed up . . . his "fiancée" arrested him.

He's now in jail. 

(Hindustan Times)