This guy really needed a plan with a little less collateral damage . . .

63-year-old Jeffrey Caouette lives near Minneapolis, and recently split up with his girlfriend.

And he got arrested this week for throwing thousands of SCREWS on the road near her house . . . because he wanted to prevent her from driving to see the new guy she's dating.

It's not clear if she ever got a flat tire because of it.  But roughly 150 OTHER people did.  And it wasn't an isolated incident.

He did it every other day for TWO MONTHS.  And in August alone, he purchased over 12,000 sheetrock screws.

Several people who live in the area had to replace all four of their tires after they drove over them.  And a few had to replace their tires multiple times.

He's facing a felony charge for damage to property over $1,000.  And it sounds like they'll be tacking on more charges as well.  (Fox9)  (Here's his mugshot.)

I guess if you're test driving a car, you want to see how it'll perform in all the different ways you'll use it.  And for a few people, that includes POLICE CHASES.

There's a 32-year-old woman named Kasandra Ayala from Spokane, Washington and she went to a Nissan dealer on Saturday for a test drive.

But somehow, it turned into a KIDNAPPING . . . when Kasandra wouldn't let the car salesman get out.  He called the cops, and they wound up in a chase with Kasandra.

She started off driving slowly, but eventually sped up . . . and wound up slamming into three police cars.  The cops finally stopped her by intentionally ramming the car.

It's not clear WHY Kasandra decided to turn her test drive into a kidnapping and police chase . . . although she did tell the cops she'd smoked meth earlier that day.

She's facing several charges.  (ABC 4 - Spokane)  (Here's her mugshot.)

Just because everyone in movies makes daring escapes through air vents and ceiling tiles doesn't mean it's an option in real life.

The police in Upper Merion, Pennsylvania got a call around 4:30 A.M. about someone inside of a Macy's.

But when they went there, they found someone HAD stolen money from the registers . . . and no sign of the thief.

After FIVE HOURS of searching, they finally figured it out . . . when they found a 32-year-old guy named Nicholas Redmond hiding in the ceiling.

It turns out he'd just quit Macy's three weeks earlier and still had a set of keys . . . so he'd just let himself in, but then he hid when the cops came.

He stole at least $7,000 that night . . . and the cops have connected him to two other thefts at the Macy's where he stole about $5,000.

He's facing theft charges.  (ABC 6 - Philadelphia)  (Here's his mugshot.)

This is some robbery INCEPTION right here.

A guy named William Kelley called 911 on Sunday morning when his red 1992 Chevy pickup truck was stolen out of a parking lot in Kennewick, Washington.

But as the cops were investigating, they realized William wasn't an innocent victim . . . it turns out his truck had been stolen while William was across the street ROBBING a business.

So he's been arrested for burglary . . . and the police are still trying to track down the guy who stole his truck. 

(FOX 13 - Seattle / YakTriNews)

It's NOT a good sign when you're more concerned with baby products than your actual baby.

A group of three women and their three children went into a baby store in Middletown, New Jersey last week.  And two of the women distracted the employee while the other woman stole a stroller.  Then they all left the store.

But they had to come back . . . when they realized they'd left ONE OF THE KIDS behind.

23-year-old Maryann Cash and 20-year-old Nan McCarthy were arrested for shoplifting and conspiracy.  The other woman is still at large.

The cops say the women are both from England.  And the stroller they stole was from a British company . . . so it would've been pretty cheap to buy once they got back home to England. 

(ABC 7 - New York / CBS 2 - New York)

Maybe this isn't the best time to try to get someone to make a bet with you.

A 62-year-old woman named Mary Westerlund was pulled over for drunk driving on Monday night her near home in The Villages . . . which is a notorious retirement community, mostly because it's lots of older folks constantly getting hammered.

And Mary asked the cop if he wanted to BET the over-under on her blood-alcohol level.  She said they could bet a quarter, and she guessed she'd hit .19.  Which is more than twice the legal limit, by the way.

She might've gotten that number because the LAST time she got a DUI, back in 2015, she blew a .175.  So maybe she felt a little drunker this time around?

Anyway, the cop turned down her offer to bet.  And Mary's prediction was WAY off . . . she blew a .229.

She was charged with drunk driving and resisting arrest. 

(The Smoking Gun) 

(Here's her mugshot.)

 I'm not sure if breaking a clock warrants a SHOOTING, but that's kinda where society stands these days.

There's an 88-year-old guy named Daniel Cashman from Waterbury, Connecticut.  And on Monday, he stormed into a construction company with his gun strapped to his hip looking for his nephew who worked there . . . to shoot him.

According to Daniel, his nephew stole two suits and his cane from his house . . . and damaged his CUCKOO CLOCK.

The employees told Daniel his nephew wasn't working that day.  He thanked them for their time and told them he'd be back tomorrow.

They called the cops . . . and Daniel was arrested for first degree threatening and breach of peace. 

(FOX 61 - Hartford) 

(Here's his mugshot.)

I don't know if this phrase has ever been uttered:  But the flat-Earther here might NOT be the craziest person in this story . . .

A 36-year-old guy in New Zealand named Jamie Sutherland recently had dinner with a friend named Louie Lanz.  They've known each other since elementary school.

And Louie kept going on about how the Earth isn't round . . . then said he'd bet Jamie TEN GRAND that it was flat.  So Jamie took him up on it, because hey, free money.

Except Louie thinks all the proof about Earth being round is part of a massive conspiracy.  So there was no way to convince him.

They ran into each other at a gas station later on.  And Jamie told Louie he still owed him the $10,000.  But Louie refused to pay.  So Jamie lost it . . . and threatened to KILL him AND his father with a crossbow if he didn't pay him the money.

Louie called the cops, and they've been dealing with it since February.  But on Monday, a judge dismissed all the charges.  And no one has to pay the ten grand.

Overall, Louie might still be the crazier one though.  Because in court, he claimed the Moon landings were faked, and that Albert Einstein was a plant by the government.

And he also got 80 hours of community service back in 2015 for joking he had a BOMB on an Air New Zealand flight. 

(Otago Daily Times / Stuff.co.nz)

This feels like it was a million-in-one shot.  So maybe this guy can appreciate what a feat it was.

A guy was driving on the interstate in Johnson County, in central Indiana on Sunday, and he threw his baby's DIRTY DIAPER out of his car window.

And . . . the diaper hit a COP CAR.

The cop immediately pulled the guy over and saw a baby in the backseat.  The guy wouldn't admit that he threw the diaper out of the window, though . . . he said the wind had blown it out.

I'm not sure how that works, but the cop gave the guy a ticket for littering. 

(CW 8 - Indianapolis / CNN)

I totally understand getting upset if someone invites you over for a booty call, you agree to it . . . and then they flake.  But I'm not sure this is a proportionate response.

There's a 29-year-old woman named Taija Russell from Woodbury, New Jersey.  And a few weeks ago, a guy invited her over for a booty call around 4:00 A.M.

But when she got to his house . . . he'd fallen asleep.  And he didn't wake up when she banged on his door or repeatedly called and texted him from outside.

And that made her so upset she went to a gas station nearby . . . bought lighter fluid and matches . . . then went back to his house and set his DOOR on FIRE.

To her credit, that DID wake him up.  He wound up jumping out of a window to escape but had to go to the hospital with burns and smoke inhalation.  Firefighters also had to bust into the house to save his dog.

Taija was arrested on several felony charges, including attempted homicide, aggravated arson, and aggravated assault. 

(The Smoking Gun)

(Here's her mugshot, plus a picture of his house after the fire.)

I guess if you're going to steal an electric car, you really should see this coming.

There's a 60-year-old woman named Kathy Sain from Payson, Arizona.  And on Sunday, she stole a TESLA from a parking lot outside a Subway.

The car was reported stolen quickly, and the cops wound up in a high-speed chase with Kathy.

And it ended when . . . the Tesla's battery ran out of juice.

The cops say, quote, "Spike strips were ineffective [but the] vehicle ran out of electricity" so they were able to arrest Kathy.

She was charged with theft, fleeing, criminal damage, aggravated driving under the influence, and failing to appear on two outstanding warrants. 

(Payson Roundup)

The Force is not strong with this one.

There's a 22-year-old guy in Carter County, in northeast Tennessee, whose real name is Luke Sky Walker.  There's a space between Sky and Walker because "Sky" is his given middle name.

Anyway, he was in the news last year after he violated his probation by stealing 46 road signs.  The story got enough attention that Mark Hamill even tweeted about it . . . although, to be fair, Mark Hamill tweets about everything.

And now, Luke Sky Walker is back in the news . . . because there's a warrant out for his arrest.  He's been charged with theft of property over $1,000, and the sheriff's department is trying to track him down.

And yes, Mark Hamill has already tweeted about it again . . . making a very self-aware joke about bad sequels. 

(ABC 9 - Chattanooga)

(Here's Luke Sky Walker's mugshot.)

I'm not sure how this guy is going to go back to his role as a gang leader after THIS.  42-year-old Clauvino da Silva is currently serving a 73-year prison sentence for drug trafficking in Rio de Janeiro.  And on Saturday, he tried to escape.

The plan?  His 19-year-old daughter came to visit him . . . and he disguised himself as her to try to leave.  That involved putting on a black bra, a pink t-shirt with donuts and hearts on it, tight jeans, a silicone mask of her face, and a long black wig.

And the costume was good enough that it actually MIGHT'VE worked . . . except the guards noticed the "daughter" was acting nervously so they took a closer look and realized it was da Silva.

As he took off the disguise, they took a video, which is now circulating around online.

He's been transferred to a maximum security prison and he'll be facing sanctions.  And his daughter might've been in on the plan, since she was going to stay behind in jail . . . so she could face charges too. 

(Buzzfeed)  (Here are some still shots from the video.)

This is one way to keep business costs down, I guess.  Not a good way.  But a way.

Over the past few weeks, a man and a woman broke into a grocery store in Trussville, Alabama . . . and only stole toilet paper and paper towels.

The cops were ready last Tuesday when the couple broke in for a third time . . . and they wound up in a high-speed chase.  Again, over toilet paper.

The cops wound up catching them . . . and it turns out the guy is a 50-year-old man named Ira Glover.  Why was he stealing toilet paper?  He owns a janitorial company . . . and he was looking to get free inventory.

Oh . . . and he's actually done this before.  He was busted for stealing toilet paper back in March, too . . . and he's on probation for that.  Charges against Ira and the woman who was with him are still pending.  (Al.com) 

(Here's his mugshot.)

This woman is a BAD human being.

On Tuesday night, a 59-year-old guy named Robert Corbey was at a 7-Eleven in Longmont, Colorado . . . and he had a seizure.

A 30-year-old woman named Melody Mellon was at the store and she immediately jumped into action.  Oh, not to help Robert . . . no, she took his medical emergency as an opportunity to STEAL his PET DOG.

Sadly, Robert died from the seizure. 

The police caught up with Melody on Thursday morning thanks to a tip . . . and found her in a stolen truck.

She was arrested for stealing the dog . . . and also on outstanding warrants for assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest, auto theft, and failure to appear on a felony drug charge.

The cops also found the dog, and reunited him with Robert's family. 

(CBS 4 - Denver) 

(Here's a picture of Melody and the dog, and a picture of Robert with his dog.)

Whoever stole this package is going to learn the meaning of the phrase "instant karma" when they open it.

There's a woman in Spartanburg, South Carolina.  And over the weekend, she called the cops after she got a notification from FedEx that her package was delivered . . . but she didn't see it on her porch.

It appears that someone stole the package.

But what the thief didn't realize is that the box had NINE TARANTULAS inside.

The cops say they don't have any suspects so far . . . but I suppose they could just wait until they see someone running down the street screaming. 

(The State)