This is NOT the time of year to slow people down when they're shopping for food.

There's a 43-year-old woman from Brick, New Jersey and she was checking out in the express lane at a grocery store last week . . . when a 45-year-old woman from Howell, New Jersey called her out for having too many items.

The argument quickly escalated . . . and they started throwing punches and biting each other.

Another 43-year-old woman also wound up taking damage when she tried to break up the fight and the woman who had too many items bit her in the leg.

Both of the women in the fight were charged with disorderly conduct, and the woman who had too many items was also charged with simple assault. 

(CBS 3 - Philadelphia)

There might not be ANYTHING that siblings take more seriously than who gets to ride shotgun.

There's a 27-year-old guy named Bret Brezenski from Blakely, Pennsylvania.  And last week, he and his girlfriend were picking up his 20-year-old sister Brianna Brezenski from work.

Well . . . she got into an argument with her brother about who was going to get to sit in the front seat, her or his girlfriend.

And it got SERIOUS . . . to the point where they started physically fighting.  And when the cops showed up, Bret took off and got into a high-speed chase . . . with his girlfriend hanging out of the window of the car.

When Bret finally stopped because of a traffic jam, he and his sister both got out and attacked the cops.

They were both arrested and charged with assault and resisting arrest.  Bret's girlfriend wasn't charged . . . the cops say she was a victim and she's filed a restraining order against the whole Brezenski family. 

(ABC 16 - Scranton)

I'm not sure there's enough mouthwash on the planet to get over something like THIS.

Back on the 29th of last month, two drivers in Largo, Florida got into a road rage argument.  One of them was a 61-year-old guy named David Wipperman . . . the other is a woman whose name hasn't been released.

It's not clear what caused their argument, but at some point, David got out of his truck and walked up to the woman's car.  So she rolled down her window and apologized.

And David responded by . . . SPITTING the food he was chewing into her mouth.

The cops investigated what happened, and David was arrested last week for felony battery.

There's no word on what type of food he spat into the woman's mouth. 

(The Smoking Gun) 

(Here's his mugshot.)

This could almost be a commercial for how much people love their Nissans.  Almost.

There's a 20-year-old guy named Benjamin Gjere from Lanesboro, Minnesota.  And last Wednesday, his 2019 Nissan Altima was impounded.  And he couldn't get it back until he paid the $300 towing bill.

So last Sunday, he went to the auto shop where it was being stored to get it back.  He just needed a way to bust through the fence to get it out.

And his answer was . . . a 2012 PORSCHE that was parked right by his car in the lot and was unlocked with the keys inside.

So instead of just stealing the Porsche and calling it an upgrade on what he was driving, he used the Porsche as a BATTERING RAM to make a hole in the fence.  Then he abandoned the Porsche and drove his Nissan safely through the hole.

It's not clear how he THOUGHT this was going to turn out for him . . . but the cops quickly tracked him down and arrested him on several charges. 

(La Crosse Tribune) 

(Here's his mugshot.)

I'm not sure what this guy's million-dollar talent is, but I'm guessing it's not "impulse control."

There's a 25-year-old guy named Gregory Rarey from Warren, Ohio.  And on Sunday night, he went to his parents' house and got into a fight with his 29-year-old brother, Chad Cibik.

Apparently, Gregory went over to ask for money so he could travel to audition for "America's Got Talent".  And when his family wouldn't kick in the cash to support his dream, he got ANGRY and punched his brother in the face.

As the cops were arresting Gregory, he told Chad he'd KILL HIM if he filed charges . . . because, again, that would make it so Gregory couldn't audition for "AGT".

He was charged with domestic violence and aggravated menacing.  There's no word on what talent Gregory was going to show off on the show. 

(NBC 4 - Columbus)

(Here's his mugshot.)

Well, they DO say that authors should write what they know.

There's a 73-year-old guy named Bruce Bagley, and he's a professor of international studies at the University of Miami.

He's an expert on drug trafficking, organized crime, and money laundering, and was behind a book called "Drug Trafficking, Organized Crime, and Violence in the Americas Today".

Well, yesterday, prosecutors charged him with . . . money laundering.  Allegedly, he laundered at least $3 million into the U.S. from criminals in Venezuela and Colombia.  And he pocketed about 10% of the money.

You'd think with all his expertise, he would've done a better job covering his tracks but . . . nope.  He even had one of his bank accounts shut down last year for suspicious activity, so he went ahead and opened another one to do the same thing.

It's possible that he underestimated the chances of getting caught . . . since lately, he's been speaking out a lot about how poor of a job most governments are doing at stopping money laundering and organized crime.

He's facing up to 20 years in prison . . . and the University of Miami has put him on administrative leave. 

(Bloomberg / Miami Herald) 

(Here's his picture.)

This is like a reverse bank robbery.

There's a 19-year-old guy named Nathan Newell from Bel Air, Maryland, and he's a bank teller at a Freedom Federal Credit Union branch.

Well . . . he was working last Monday when a 78-year-old guy came in and made a big withdrawal.

So that night, Nathan went to the guy's house . . . forced his way in . . . attacked the guy . . . and robbed him.  He ran off when the guy's 57-year-old stepdaughter pulled a gun and threatened to call the cops.

The police were able to put the pieces together and they arrested Nathan at the bank two days later.

He's been charged with robbery, burglary, assault, and home invasion. 

(Baltimore Sun) 

(Here's his mugshot.)

The CEO of Airbnb recently spoke at a conference and he shared the STRANGEST customer complaint he's ever heard.  And you know it's gotta be good, because you can imagine all the complaints they get.

He says a customer once called and demanded a full refund, quote, "Because the house is haunted and there's a ghost in the house."

But the ghost just being there wasn't why they wanted the refund.  No, they wanted a refund because the Airbnb listing promised the house was haunted by, quote, "a friendly ghost named Stanley" . . . but Stanley wasn't being friendly to these people.

Quote, "We know about Stanley, that's why we booked it.  But Stanley has been harassing us all night."

There's no word on whether Airbnb wound up giving the customers their refund or not. 

(New York Post)

This feels like JUST a little bit of an overreaction.

There's a 33-year-old guy named Nicholas Miller from Greenfield, Indiana.  And last week, he was at a strip club in Indianapolis . . . but they kicked him out for causing a disturbance.

And his response was . . . trying to blow the place up.

Security cameras caught him putting a gas can next to the building under a gas meter . . . tying a shirt around the spigot of the gas can . . . taking a few drags of a cigarette . . . and then flicking it at the gas can and running away.

Fortunately, the can didn't light . . . because if he'd actually blown up the strip club, there were about 40 to 50 people inside.

He was arrested for attempted arson and criminal recklessness. 

(CW 8 - Indianapolis) 

(Here's his mugshot.)

If this idiot had just been as open and honest as this in his relationship, his life might be in slightly better shape . . .

52-year-old Jon Earl Pickard got pulled over near Tampa, Florida on Sunday night for driving over 90 miles an hour in a 55 zone.

And when the cop asked why he was speeding, he blurted out that he had to get home in a hurry . . . because he was out CHEATING ON HIS WIFE.

Apparently he thought the cop might give him a break for some reason.  But instead, they ordered him out of the car . . . searched him . . . and found a small bag of CRACK in his shirt pocket.

He also freely admitted that he bought the crack for $50.  So on top of the speeding ticket, he's facing one count of felony drug possession . . . and an upcoming divorce, we assume.

It's all public record now, so his wife knows where he was.  He's due in court early next month. 

(The Smoking Gun)

(Here's his mugshot.)

Never doubt the passion of southern football fans.  Especially ones living in . . . wait, Oregon?  That doesn't check out.

A 51-year-old guy named Christopher Honey from Bend, Oregon was watching Saturday's big Alabama-LSU game with his friend, a 40-year-old man visiting from Maine.  They were lifelong friends . . . but rooting for different teams.

Apparently, they got into an argument during the game.   And it got SO heated that the friend stormed out . . . and Christopher blasted him with a SHOTGUN as he was walking down the driveway.

The birdshot shell hit the guy in the head and neck, and he was taken to the hospital.  Fortunately, his injuries weren't life threatening.

Christopher was arrested for attempted murder, assault, unlawful use of a weapon, and menacing.

It's not clear who was rooting for Alabama and who was rooting for LSU. 

(NBC 21 - Bend / New York Post)

(Here's his mugshot.)

Of all the nerdy dudes' apartments you could break into, you picked THIS one.

A 33-year-old guy named Alex Rawls kicked in the door to an apartment in Oshtemo Township, Michigan last Wednesday night.  Apparently he used to date someone who lived there and, for whatever reason, he was on a rampage.

But he didn't expect what he found inside.  A 36-year-old guy named Ben Ball lives there, and he was just playing video games and watching "Rick and Morty" at the time.

And one of Ben's hobbies is medieval style-combat . . . he and his buddies make videos of themselves fighting, and he had plenty of weapons on hand.

So Ben grabbed a BATTLE AXE and chopped Alex in the chest with it.  They fought a little, and Alex ran off . . . a bloody mess.

The cops tracked the blood and arrested him, but he had to go to the hospital first.  He's been charged with first-degree home invasion and could get up to 20 years in prison. 

(NBC 8 - Grand Rapids)

Is it possible this guy got dressed in the morning INTENTIONALLY trying to be ironic?

There's a 38-year-old guy named David Rasmussen in Oklahoma City.  And he and a friend were busted on Tuesday trying to steal an ATV from someone's home.

And David was wearing a shirt that said . . . "Ain't nothin' illegal 'til you get caught."

Since he DID get caught, he was arrested . . . and when the cops searched his property, they found out he'd stolen a lot more stuff, too.  Which, based on his shirt, was now officially illegal since he'd been caught.

He was charged with six counts of possession of stolen property, second-degree burglary, engaging in a pattern of criminal behavior, and more.

And it turned out the guy he was stealing the ATV with was a wanted fugitive from Texas . . . so he was also hit with a ton of charges. 

(NBC 4 - Oklahoma City) 

(Here's a picture of David in his t-shirt.)

It's hard to make rational decisions when you're this drunk, I guess.

There's a 32-year-old guy named Brice Williams from Denham Springs, Louisiana.  And he was arrested Sunday around midnight after he showed up at a bar . . . on an electric shopping cart from Walmart.

When the cops confronted him, he admitted he'd stolen the shopping cart from a Walmart about a half mile away.

Why?  He was drunk, and he was afraid he'd get a DUI if he drove his own car . . . so he figured it would be a better idea to steal the cart and drive that.

Well, it wasn't.  He was charged with unauthorized use of a moveable.  That crime is a felony and has a maximum sentence of up to a $5,000 fine and two years in prison.

A first offense of driving while intoxicated is a misdemeanor and has a maximum sentence of up to a $1,000 fine and six months in prison. 

(ABC 2 - Baton Rouge) 

(Here's his very blurry mugshot.)

It's scary enough for a little kid to be left alone . . . without being left in the scariest place possible.

There's a 35-year-old guy named Charles Jones in Merritt Island, Florida.  And on Halloween, he took his five-year-old daughter to a haunted house . . . and then left her there.

She was alone at the haunted house for at least two-and-a-half hours before the police finally tracked down Charles.

He was arrested for child neglect. 

(The Smoking Gun) 

(Here's his mugshot.)

Well here's an idea for a side hustle we've never heard of before.  Probably for a good reason.

There's a 52-year-old woman named Belinda Fondren in Evans, Louisiana.  And she was just busted for selling high school students fake doctor's notes . . . so they could skip school.

Apparently Belinda used to work for a doctor and she was forging the notes as if they came from him.  She was selling them for $20 each and apparently sold about 14 of them before the school got suspicious.

They noticed there was a big spike in kids getting notes from that doctor, so they called the doctor . . . and he said he'd never heard of any of the kids.

They eventually traced the notes to Belinda, and she was arrested for filing false public records.  She could get up to five years in prison. 

(Bastrop Daily Enterprise) 

(Here's her mugshot.)

This is animal abuse, and it's NOT okay.  But the visual is amazing . . .

A cop in Moscow recently showed up at an apartment complex after several people called in noise complaints.

Apparently a 59-year-old guy named Gennady Shcherbakov was the one causing the disturbance.

He was sitting at the foot of the stairs inside when police showed up, and refused to cooperate or answer any questions.  It turned out he'd been drinking.

Then out of nowhere, he grabbed a nearby cat . . . shook it for a second to make it angry . . . and threw it at the cop's FACE.  Yes, he WEAPONIZED a cat.

The cat latched on to the officer's face and sunk its claws in.  It's not clear how bad their injuries were, but apparently the cat is okay.

Police arrested the guy for use of violence against a public official.  He's facing up to five years in prison for it. 

(BBC)